ups and downs

I'm only human. I'm not perfect, no matter how hard I try.
I'm having BM exam tmr. yet here I am typing away.
Anyways, just wanted to release some emotions? lol
nobody will understand how I feel now, cause even I don't
it's been a long time since I last blogged. haha
well here is a summary of what's happening

I BROKE UP WITH HIM. YES, I DID.
People always ask me why? Why? Because he's a big fat liar. He only lies lies lies.
Of course, the people who loves him will think he isn't though, can't blame you cause I was innocent enough to believe him through and through. But not anymore, if you're reading this or any of your friends are

LIM TZE YANG, FUCK YOU. GO TO HELL AND I HATE YOU.

Well, glads that settles, for now. If you guys are wondering what he lied about. I'm not sure where to start. Maybe he lied the whole time, maybe he lied a little. Bottom line is, he LIED. Even though he told me he would never lie to me, here he goes breaking his promise. Wait no, he broke more than ONE promise yeah. What a bastard. and he dares to call my guy friends bastards, he should look himself inside the mirror and slap himself. WAKE UP.

Okayy, I'm not gonna go emo. Like "booohooo I just broke up I can't live without him". I'm not like that. He'll receive the same treatment I got. :) Karma is so gonna get you. and that's a promise I'll keep.

also, did u guys know he is a coward? seriously. He dare to say, don't dare to admit. When I ask him, he denied like hell.

LAST NIGHT, he sent a text message to me. He said something like lao po nite muacks sleep early me too bla bla bla. Then he sent another, saying opz, sent wrongly. I was like, wtf. whoa, you're proving to me you're an even bigger loser yo. You're a weakling, coward, sissy and segala yang berkaitan. LOL. I don't know why I loved you even. (NOTE THE PAST TENSE) I should have listened to my pals, you're nothing but a fake. like how fake a Gucci bag is at the local market.

Anyway, back to life. :D

Back to school D:

Well, school is starting. And well, frankly I'm not really ready. 1st of all, I haven't even did my homework, duh. and i havent even tidied up my bag yet? haha. left it the same way as it was. woots. XD

Sigh. I miss you. =.="
EFF YOU
grrr...XD
Well, just remember the end of our deal. :) teehee ^_^
Study hard? Maybe.
Forget you? Impossible.

So yeah, school, I hate you, but Imma do my effin best there. Just you wait :D

Seriously?

You act like I will die without you, that my life would be pointless. That's where you're wrong. I can sooooo totally go on with or without you. So you can save your pride for yourself cause I don't give a damn. You need to learn to let go, oh yeah, you already effin' did that. I'm not your toy that you can play with and throw away when you get bored. So yeah, in a nutshell, I don't need you, not anymore. Look, we make mistakes, you're not a mistake, but you're a lesson :) so feel happy. haha. Anyway, I'm just happy that we both know what's good for us? Well, at least I'm sure I know. Things wouldn't work out between us anyway. :)

WHAT WAS YOUR:



1. Last beverage: ummm..mineral water?

2. Last phone call: From Mum

3. Last text message: From Tze Yang

4. Last song you listened to:

5. Last time you cried: In class, about a week before exam. D:




HAVE YOU EVER:



6. Dated someone twice: Wtf does this mean?

7. Been cheated on: Yeah..hmm... D:

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah.

9. Lost someone special: Yes :(

10. Been depressed: Multiple times :C

11. Been drunk and threw up: Never even drank! XD





LIST TWO FAVORITE COLOURS:



12. Umm, black?

13. Red ;D





THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)



14. Made a new friend: A lot, yeah ;D

15. Fallen in love: That's what I presume

16. Laughed until you cried: Hell yeah! :D

17. Met someone who changed you: Umm, barely, but yeah..

18. Found out who your true friends were: Oh yes :) glad to know too

19. Found out someone was talking about you: YES! D:

20. Kissed anyone on your friend's list accidentally : NOOOOO





ABOUT YOU



21. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: About 20-30% ?

22. How many kids do you want to have: Probably 2 to 3 ?

23. Do you have any pets: Yeah :D

24. Do you wanna change your name: Nope!!!! I love my name!

25. What did you do for your last birthday: Nothing special. :/

26. What time did you wake up today: haha. good one. umm..9.30am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Chatting with Alvin LOL

28. Name something you CANNOT wait for: MY friend chia-ing me! Teehee :3

29. Last time you saw your Mother: About 5 minutes ago?

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Where I live

32. What are you listening to right now: Still loading zz EFF slow connection

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Does my uncle count if his name is Thomas?

34. What's getting on your nerves right now: I haven't washed the plates and I'm sick of doing it!

35. Most visited webpage: Facebook :D

36. What's your real name: Alexis

37. What's your nickname: Lexi, Lexis, Alex, Xis

38. Relationship Status: Technically I'm single WOOTS

39. Zodiac sign: Pisces

40. Male or female: Female

41. Elementary school: SJK Sungau Jaong

42. Middle School: SMK Marudi

43. High school/college: Not yet LOL

44. Hair colour: Black with a tint of brownish features

45. Long or short: Long, choppy layers

46. Height: 165cm

47. Do you have a crush on someone: Possibly? == not sure.

48: What do you like about yourself: I'm random and blunt at times. Does not discriminates.

49. Piercings: Ears.

50. Tattoos: in the future? haha

51. Righty or lefty: Rightyyy!!!! :D





FIRSTS :



52. First surgery: Nope :X

53. First piercing: Yah, ears.

54. First best friend: Ling Li Ching

55. First sport you joined in: Basketball > Badminton

56. First vacation: I forgot where it was, too small

58. First pair of trainers: xxxxxxxx

59. Eating: umm, when I was just born??? LMAO

60. Drinking: Probably mummy's

61. I'm about to: Don't know. Answer the next Q

62. Listening to: The Script's break even. haha

63. Waiting for: Meet my pals D:



YOUR FUTURE :



64. Want kids: yesssssss :D

65. Get Married: Yeah ;)

66. Career: Medical field.





WHICH IS BETTER :



67. Lips or eyes: Both la.

68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs. teehee :3

69. Shorter or taller: Taller!!!!

70. Older or Younger: Younger.

71. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous :D

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: nice stomach XD

73. Sensitive or loud: Good Q. not too loud, but bold ? ;D

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationships.

75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble-maker WOOTS!





HAVE YOU EVER :



76. Kissed a stranger: Nooo

77. Drank hard liquor: NOPE

78. Lost your glasses/ contact: Almost lost my glasses. XDhaha

79. Sex on first date: wtf HELL NO

80. Broken someone's heart: ummm, not sure bout that. they never tell me

82. Been arrested: hahaha. LOL! NO

83. Turned someone down: yeah, sorry bout that XD

84. Cried when someone died: So far, the ones that were meaningful to me passed before I was born

85. Fallen for a friend: Yeah, i guess



DO YOU BELIEVE IN:



86. Yourself: Sometimes.

87. Miracles: yeah ;D on occasions though LOL

88. Love at first sight: eff that. It's all about physical appearance and that sucks

89. Heaven: Yeshhh <3

90. Santa Claus: haha. NO

91. Kiss on the first date: Umm..don't think so

92. Angels: There is one right now <3





ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:



94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: NOOOOOO

95. Did you sing today: oh yeah!

96. Ever cheated on somebody: Nope.

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: When it was a lot easier and simpler.

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be: The time I met Malcolm. LOL

99. Are you afraid of falling in love: Yeah. Love sucks? haha

100. Posting this as 100 truths: YESHHH

Oh yeah. we did make up. haha. but somehow after you broke up with me, that feelin aint there no more. Sorry but this eagle has got to fly ;D we're still friends though. :) hmmm~ it's not too bad actually, getting used to it. pfft. i won't die :D yeah. Holidays are almost over and I'm looking forward to my results? haha. uh-oh. don't sound like Alexis. well, I guess I did pretty well. I already know I aced Chemistry, Moral and Math. Teehee :3 but about other subbies, I don't know. LMAO. haha. Well, still awaiting for form 5. By then I can drive WOOTS!

:'(

Yeah,those were the times...going out with my b whenever we had the time to =]
always will, and never shall I forget the times we spent together, you made every second worth while, made my stay worth while. You make me feel special in so many ways, even when I'm sweating and I rubbed my sweat on your shirt, :( haha awwhhh...At night near 9pm, we were hanging at the park, then this girl who claimed she was death wanted to sell some couple-like souvenirs in exchange for RM8. I turned to u and u shook your head. awwhh..kolian =[ the next time, we were havin the last day together, we had our last meal at kfc, then an old man approached us and told us that he needed money to pay for the operation for his son or something, in return he sold some crackers worth RM2 each. being the easily sympathetic me, I fished out 5 and handed it to him, then he just left us with two packets of crackers and left. and i was lyk, hey, wat bout my change D: haha but he was long gone. oh well, so many sellers love us bah, bo bian..<3

alot of things happened before and after that,and I wish not to repeat again :( sigh. the rest, i know clearly what happened...;[ couldnt see you after u stepped into that car, cause I know that would be the last time we would meet for a long period. oh well, life sucks, just accepting reality.

Have u ever tried sleeping with a broken heart

Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
Near me, touch me, feel me
And even at the bottom of the sea
I could still hear inside my head
Tellin' me, touch me, feel me

And all the time you were tellin' me lies

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
Well, you could try sleeping in my bed

Lonely, on me nobody ever shut (?) it down like you
You want a crown
You made my body feel heaven bound
Why don't you hold me
Near me, I thought you told me
You'd never leave me

Looking in the sky I could see your face
And I know right where I fit in
Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love
With you
Right til the end OOh

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you


Anybody could've told you right from the start
It's bound (?) to fall apart
So rather than hold on to a broken dream
We'll just hold on to love

And I could find a way to make it
Don't hold on too tight
I'll make it without you tonight

So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you

Sigh. Don't think I'll be goin for that tournament anymore.

haha. I know that my coach have made plans to go to kuching for a tournament and all this July. But it's already July, and due to those stupid-ass renovations at the badminton court here, we SELDOM have any training D: which sucks big time, because how the hell are we going to go there within this month with barely one month of intensive training? and oh, come on, I'm form 4 for pete's sake. My mum and tuition teacher would surely lecture me about the disadvantages of going there D: sigh. so yeah, guess I'm not goin there afterall. So I can't meet my b and pals there...great. just great. a chance to leave this foul place : FAIL.

I miss him like co-rai-ziee (wahahaha) :'(

my bf is a fucking idiot sometimes.

It's true when they say love is bittersweet. Believe me, it is.
Today, I just uploaded our pics on fb, not knowing what was in store for me.
My b called me and told me he was sorry but I had to delete those pics coz he's afraid his coach would see it. ROFL. how did you want me to react? I dont wanna sound all obsessed, going wtf why not!!?!?!? nah. i played it cool and was like, okay. nvm. inside, I wanted to strangle him . grr.
Then we texted, cool and all, after that no more reply from him. okay, maybe he fell asleep?
Then 2 hours later, he was like "lao po, muackz muackz muackz. "
I wanted to give him the silent treatment at 1st, hahahahha, but I thought he would never change his ways if I never tell him. so i might as well just get straight to the point.

when i asked him why didn't he reply for so long, he was like, i was playing ps2. ==
good gawd, I never said I mind that. just that at least tell me xia instead of making me wait. Really, I ain't gonna tell u the whole convo we had. in short, i just told him I don't really care what he does. then he went all " :( :( :( :(" and all that shit. man sometimes I love it when we get this kinda fight. makes him more 'aware'. he should know my attitude by now. I know i know his D: sigh. stupid.

anyway, I think I'm still gona give him a cold shoulder? lazy wanna be nice all the time with him D: he never appreciates it == bwahaha.

Happy happy JOY JOY

Alexis currently in happy mode now. haha. for many reasons :D


1st, imma meet my B very very soon. Probably on Monday and Tuesday. oh yay!!!! ^^ Overjoyed.

2nd, EXAM IS FINALLY OVERRRRRR!!!! That means, more play time for Alexis. oh yeah ;D

3rd, NO school, no duh???!!!! WoohooOO!!!!!!

4th, Wanna quickly get out of MARUDI, lyk, ASAP!!!!!!

5th, shopping at DA SPRING again :D lol. love ittt



老公等我哦！！我会来的^^ xixi

Teacher stalking

Okay. this is pretty WEIRD. I got an fb message just now from an unknown person, then found out it was my TEACHER. OMG!!!!

He said dont be too westerny using F and B word. Your english is good n might be too good. like wtf. == I just used it one time on FB and that was coz I was pissed. Why is it such a bif issue? Also I got some comments from my aunt == also saying the same thing. Watch my language. Hey it's my life. D: I can do whatever I want. Besides, it's not like I'm using it in every sentence. Only when necessary. dang ppl. what ever happened to personal space and privacy? I have rights too. Okay I accept your advice. Now get off my shoulders. :(

Good news...Bad news...

Hello once again :D GG here,bringing you the most up-to-date insights of (-_-) must you know, obvious much

Anyways, I asked my mum if I, no wait, scratch that, we could go back to Kuching this holiday. I expected a negative response really, but she was like :" owh okay, I want to, but we'll have to see if your dad has time n bla bla bla..."

Ok, wow. 1st thing, she usually doesn't give in so easily. 2, I thought she hated going back to Kuching. 3, idk. It's just unlike her...coolll....me likey new her ;D


NOW, FOR THE BAD NEWS?? __ (O.o) __

My freakin crazy gila sial addmath teacher told us to go back for tuition, DURING HOLIDAYS, FOR 5 DAYS STRAIGHT. SiaooO!!!! Kidding me right?? Right after exam lagi tu!!! >,< grrrr!!!!!! So pissed. Why must she always ruin our day with her effed up class D:

Oh well, sigh. Means my official holiday only begins on 1 June. :(
Sob. Next week gonna have physics, biology, chemistry and 8math! FuyooHHH!!!! My best subbies, NOT. well, the only ones I hate is physics and 8maths. I suck bad at complicated calculation. I mean, we don't need it. Just basics saja ma. as long as we know 1+1=2 . LMAO. yea right XD

The reason why she's tormenting us is because she's gonna be a mum in september, so we're gonna stop having tuition that month till form 5. lol. sound nice eh? XD I feel pity for her child though D: he/she is gonna grow up as a mathematician,XD and solving 8math problems as a hobby cause (drum rolls, please) SHE HAS NO TV & INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! XDD

What a life :D

Anyways, not really sure about going to Mukah for badminton tournament though, cause I'm scared it's gonna clash with the time I'm goin to Kuching. hmmmm...I pick Kuching. XD

sigh. exam week. D:
not the point actually.

..........................................................

Man, it damn hurt when I knew you moved away T.T
But every time I see your photos, i recall all those good memories we had.
Yes they were brief, but I cherish every second.
And though you may not know, and never will know
I liked you a lot D: a whole whole lot.
I hope you're having a blissful time there
You deserve champion if I was the empire watching you play
Sigh. These feelings have way passed me...
But this is what I usually do if there are things left unsaid
I will keep on remembering it :(
I hate you. Hate you. Hate you.

.........................................................

Baby, we've been together for about 7 months now ♥
So far so great :D
Sometimes i try not to fall too in love with you, lol
otherwise when we break, it'll hurt a lot. ouch D:
and I don't want that to happen- again. dayum XD
Anywayssss...you're always in my mind <3
especially when I'm bored
cause only you always text me ;D
and I love that about you
^^

Startin' today, less play time D:

Man. I hate exams, gets in the way of my play time D:
<3 play time, includin:

- PLAYING BADMINTON <3
- chatting wit my hommies
- online-ing!!! woo-hooo!!! :D
- textin/callin my baby ^^
- go out gai gai and stuff ;)
- sigh. many more D: lol

Man I can't do that stuff til like, after exam! which is about the end of the month...
BTW I'm having a badminton tournament then!! D:
Duno if mum would allow me to go all the way to Mukah though T.T hope she does
also, how the hell can I be confident enough to compete if I don't even train as much this month!? Why must it be this month!? Why can't it be in June or something D: sigh. sakai one this world XD


事实就是这样的咯。。。这么的不公平。。。我无言。。。不管怎样，这也是耶稣给我的障碍。。。我们必须继续坚持到底。。。一定能的。。。加油！！！拼!!!

you never know what you have until you lose it.
you can have it in just a day, but lose it in a blink of an eye.
I'm sorry if I did anything wrong
I'm sorry if I'm not perfect enough
I'm sorry if my existence is too much of a burden
If that's the case
Why don't we just end it right here right now
and stop all this sick nonsense once and for all
move on...
sometimes it's for the best...
but i don't know what's the best...
sigh I don't know anything that's why we're so effed up D:
Give me your answer now

Why is it getting more boring D:

lol. i knw i mentioned that my life was all hectic n stuff
but nw, evr since my coach brought the players out, it seems like it's getting more boring :((
1st offffff, my b is idk at where, he said he left his hp in his dad's car n at nite thn find, but nw, xda pa2 pun. argh.. just whn i needed sumone to fill in those empty spaces D: he's gone..sigh. where the fuck is he???!!!
alain ( i knw ur readin ths ) is also busy.
then i msg chien, he hvt reply. haiz..
all my frenz all boh eng , lyk wtf.

O,o Is this true ? lol

yesterday went for 8math tuition
teacher said I improved
lmao. XD yay me!
eventhough I din really put alot of effort into it.
but hey lyk my mum ows said
teachers knw best XD lol

anyways, exam next month. god help us all D:
sigh, haven't really started though~~
I also started training like, last week..
beginning of April...:)
ofcz la for my b, & to meet hawt bdmnton players..lmao!jk~
missed goin for badmntn tournaments lei =]
hehe...sure gonna meet my buds,ex(damn him)..most of all, my B ^^
cnt wait til next tournament, in mukah, ^^
but, even if I'm chosen, scared my mum dun allow
dah lah tht day go sarikei she got abit "......" one oso lar...siao :X
She nvr lets me have fun D:

Tiring...fUUuu

man...I'm so damn tired nowadays..
I don't even have enough freakin' time to chat wit mah buds..:(
I got tons of homework & activities.
sigh~ even my online time is limited !!! D:

Pissing me off.

Guess what? He did it again..
and yes he never fails to piss me..
And he ain't even trying ? whoa. He's good at this.
It's totally fine with me if he goes for his badminton training as long as he tells me 1st, ESPECIALLY IF we're in the middle of texting.
You don't just leave your phone there and have a nice time training while you gf is wondering what the hell is taking so effin' long to reply.
A couple of hours later then you will text me out of the blue.
LMAO LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today is the last straw grrrr...
my patience have totally ran out and I am officially pissed~!
How does it feel when I said BYE && I don't have anymore credit
sedangkan that is just an excuse so that I don't need to text with you!
Arggh. I'm so very pissed. >,<
And you knw? If you were smart enough, you'd send me some credit so I can text with you
instead you just simply put a " :( & a :'-( "
like wtf? Who do you think I am?? ur mum? I'm not buying that shit anymore.
At least tell me 'hey i hv to go fr training nw'
I can understand. but sigh, you will never know what I think. =/ nobody does.

EFF U

I hate u
fuck u
why can't u understand??
huh??
shit.
just leave me alone
NOW
F.